


the heart beats in threes, just like a waltz (and nothing can stop you from dancing)

by elsinorerose, smokeandjollyranchers



Series: beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Romance, Unresolved Sexual Tension, chat fic, just so much wedding stuff you guys, magical enchanted parchment for texting fic!, secret undercover mission, wedding customs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 22:59:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18353474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elsinorerose/pseuds/elsinorerose, https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokeandjollyranchers/pseuds/smokeandjollyranchers
Summary: Jester, whenever you get this, remind me why we decided that I should be the one to pose as a wealthy foreign lord at this wedding. All of the food is too spicy. Everyone dances too fast. I have tripped on these robes four times.Caleb and Jester check in with each other during a mission.





	the heart beats in threes, just like a waltz (and nothing can stop you from dancing)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Smoke and Christine's first What-If-Caleb-Enchanted-Some-Parchment-So-He-And-Jester-Could-Text fic! Turns out this is _super fun to do_ so there may be a few more of these coming in the future. Today's offering features Smoke as Jester and Christine as Caleb, and is set...a year in the future? Maybe? Ish? Title from "Firewood" by Regina Spektor. Enjoy!

**CALEB**

Jester, whenever you get this, remind me why we decided that I should be the one to pose as a wealthy foreign lord at this wedding.

All of the food is too spicy. Everyone dances too fast.

I have tripped on these robes four times.

**JESTER**

Because  _you’re_ the one who knows what fancy people do.  You and you’d be able to pick up the dances the quickest. And you can comprehend the language.

Plus we thought it would be  _hilarious_

_we were right_

**CALEB**

Why do Nicodrani weddings have to last a week?

A  _week?_

It is not hilarious. It is sad.

**JESTER**

_Because_ it’s starting a life over. So you need seven days.

It’s a new birth, a new life, a new love, a new family, a new home, a new era and a new death. It takes a week  _at least_.

I gotta say, Empire weddings are  _depressing_ comparatively

**CALEB**

All of you people are insane.

Is your wedding going to be a week long, then

Are we all going to have to wear these things

**JESTER**

_my_ wedding is going to be ten days! I have had it planned out for  _years_. And  _nooooo_ I won’t make you wear  _color_

Gods forbid you wear something other than shades of grey and brown.

**CALEB**

It's not the color I mind, it's the  _gotverdammt_ train

I thought only brides wore trains

**JESTER**

The bride doesn’t wear a train?? She would trip on it. Why would we do that to her? That would be rude

She’s nervous enough already

_You’re_ wearing it because the Nobles just

Do that. You’d have to ask the other Lords the finer points of fashion I think

_And_ are you sitting in the corner talking to me instead of talking to the target? Cuz it feels like you are

**CALEB**

No, I am in my room, everyone is dressing for dinner

Another dinner heavily featuring peppers in every dish

Tell me about this dream wedding of yours.

**JESTER**

Peppers are super good, Caleb, you’re being a baby.

And I don’t  _know_ , it’s going to be so pretty. There’s going to be sparkly lights and all my friends

And the Traveler  _promised_ me forever ago he would come

And my mama has a song she’s been saving for it

**CALEB**

Will the Traveler be officiating?

**JESTER**

He has to! Otherwise  _technically_ I’m not really married, technically

**CALEB**

Technically.

Of course.

**JESTER**

And there’s gonna be so much  _food_ and a bunch of wine so everyone gets really drunk and cries about how happy they are

That’s my favorite thing drunk people do

**CALEB**

You will always get a few sad drunks at a wedding, too, to be fair

There was someone here last night who made her feelings known quite loudly

I will do my best to be happy drunk at your wedding if you promise to include some food that won't burn my mouth to ashes.

Assuming I am invited, of course.

**JESTER**

Oh no, was it a noble lady with really big eyes and blue jewels in her horns? Cuz she’s kind of an ex lover and UGH!  I wish Lord Sharpe wasn’t at that wedding so I could’ve  _gonnnne_.

Of course you’re going!!! How could you even think you wouldn’t be! And you know what?

I’ll have some special bland Empire food for you

**CALEB**

_Danke,_ that's very kind.

I wish you were here too. But to be fair, Lord Sharpe is the groom, it would be difficult not to include him in the party.

Are you talking about this Lady Temeriel? With the blue jewels? She was one of the happy drunks, actually.

Extremely happy.

Very affectionate woman.

**JESTER**

_He probably looks all pale and flabby_

She was?? Well who was crying then? I can’t imagine anyone  _missing_ Sharpe

_Ooooohhhhh_

**CALEB**

I think that this woman was missing the bride, actually

**JESTER**

You should kidnap her and save her

Have Lady Tem help you, and she’s def make it worth your while

You can’t

**CALEB**

What a good idea.

**JESTER**

You can’t see but I’m doing the eyebrow thing.

**CALEB**

You did not have to tell me you were doing the eyebrow thing.

**JESTER**

It was important to me you knew

**CALEB**

I have known you for a year and a half, Jester; I knew.

Can I tell you a secret

**JESTER**

You know I  _love_ a good secret!

**CALEB**

I am pretty sure dinner started half an hour ago

I may be hiding from her.

Shh.

**JESTER**

_Calebbbbbb_

You’re technically supposed to be a guest!

**CALEB**

I will tell them all that spice disagreed with my stomach

They keep seating me next to her, Jester

**JESTER**

She’s a really nice lady.

And also a  _really_ powerful one

Like. I’m pretty sure she owns the sea

**CALEB**

_Ja_ she is very nice, she pinned me against a wall last night while we were supposed to be waltzing

It was terrifying

**JESTER**

.....wow that’s....more than I was expecting from her

**CALEB**

It was certainly more than I was expecting.

**JESTER**

_it's cuz you can’t handle your spices_

But seriously, are you like,  _okay_ with that?

**CALEB**

What, with being pinned against a wall?

Depends on who's doing the pinning, I suppose.

**JESTER**

_Ooooh Caleb_ you shouldn’t be surprised.

Powerful Lady Tieflings are allll over you.

**CALEB**

Are they?

**JESTER**

Beau told me about how much Ophelia Mardune was hitting on you

She said it was  _a lot_

**CALEB**

Beauregard talks too much.

Is there some sort of cologne I could wear that all tieflings are allergic to

Like Zemnians with peppers

**JESTER**

Well I don’t know why you would want that, cuz then  _I_ couldn’t sit next to you

**CALEB**

You are not here.

**JESTER**

That thought alone should break your heart

**CALEB**

I would not wear it around you, obviously

**JESTER**

_Obviously_ , if there was such a cologne, they won’t have it at a tiefling wedding

**CALEB**

I have only been separated from you for three days and I am obviously going insane, so

Obviously.

**JESTER**

Hey what are you going to do if she just shows up at your room?

**CALEB**

Ah, my door is locked.

**JESTER**

And it’s only a few more days, you should have a little fun!

And think of  _meeeeeee_ , completely taking over as your cat’s favorite person

**CALEB**

Are you implying that I should  _unlock_ my door?

(Frumpkin's favorite person is Nott, you are not going to win that war.)

**JESTER**

No, I was saying  _relax_ you’re allowed to have a little fun at a seven day party!

_And Nott has eaten him twice don’t tell me I don’t have a chance_

**CALEB**

I am here on a mission, blueberry, this is not just a party

And you know I am immune to fun.

**JESTER**

You’re not going to be able to even complete your mission before tomorrow anyways.

_Don’t lie,_ Caleb, I know you have fun!

**CALEB**

When was the last time you saw me have fun

Be honest

I am a miserable slab of granite

**JESTER**

When you pretended not to notice me pulling that prank on Beau, but you had Frumpkin push my arm a little bit so when I dumped the bucket it spilled  _on_ her instead of  _near_ her

Don’t tell me that wasn’t fun!

You’re pale like granite though, I’ll give you that

**CALEB**

That was fun.

I will make an exception for you, I suppose.

Grudgingly.

**JESTER**

You’d better

I  _know_ you like to prank people now

And you’d much rather be working  _with_ me than against me,  _Caleb_

**CALEB**

I have always liked to prank people

I pranked you when we first met

Well, Nott and I did.

**JESTER**

I would call that a  _scam_

But you’re right! That was  _pretty_ good

**CALEB**

I would never dream of going up against you in the realm of trickery, Jester Lavorre

I know better than that

Ah, hold on

Nearly called my bluff there

I've told them I'm indisposed

Bad chili sauce.

**JESTER**

_Did she come for you?_

**CALEB**

Not  _her_

...though she may have sent them.

**JESTER**

You can’t hide there  _forever_

**CALEB**

This Lady Temeriel, she is a courtesan,  _ja?_

**JESTER**

She is, technically?

But she’s amassed her own  _estate_ now

**CALEB**

Wow

**JESTER**

She’s pretty impressive, it’s true

**CALEB**

Well, now I am having second thoughts.

**JESTER**

You gonna let her whisk you away?

**CALEB**

I just don't think many men like me are regularly offered the chance to spend a night with one of the wealthiest courtesans of Nicodranas,  _for free_

Seems like it would be educational at the very least

**JESTER**

She offered that??

**CALEB**

Not in so many words

**JESTER**

And you turned her  _down_?!

**CALEB**

I was supposed to be keeping an eye on our target!

**JESTER**

Well yeah, I mean???

I guess!

....be careful though

**CALEB**

Why is that

**JESTER**

People  _fall in love_ with her fast

**CALEB**

I'm not concerned about that.

**JESTER**

Good but also,  _a lot_ of people are in love with her

And now that Lord Sharpe is ruining that poor girl’s life, she’s off his retainer

Have you ever seen sharks fight before!l?

**CALEB**

You think if I sleep with her I will get shivved in the hallway on the way back to my room, or something?

**JESTER**

Depends if you make her happy or not

Did you, did you pick up the eyebrows on that

**CALEB**

...yes, Jester

Well, I am a transmutation wizard, that should not be too difficult.

Did you pick up on the eyebrows on that?

**JESTER**

_I did_

And I’m  _delighted_

**CALEB**

Oh good.

_Scheisse,_ they've already finished, I have to go down and dance some more.

**JESTER**

I would love to see you dance sober sometime

_I'm so mad I didn’t get to go_

**CALEB**

We can make that happen.

There will be other weddings.

**JESTER**

Not in Nicodranas. At least not until that mean old bastard is dead

**CALEB**

I can take care of that, if you like.

Nothing should ever get in the way of you dancing.

**JESTER**

As much as I appreciate the offer, that would be kind of  _bad_

**CALEB**

Yes, probably.

**JESTER**

But I  _really_ appreciate the offer

Go dance, have fun

**CALEB**

I've got to go, but I will check in tomorrow.

**JESTER**

I’m gonna doodle a bunch of dicks for you

**CALEB**

Have a good night -- oh, wonderful.

**JESTER**

_wedding dicks_

**CALEB**

There they are.

**JESTER**

They have a train. Night Caleb!!

**CALEB**

Good night, Jester.

 

[VERY EARLY THE NEXT MORNING...]

 

**CALEB**

Jester, I don't know if you're awake, but you are not going to believe this

Temeriel just...handed me the key.

She has a grudge against the viscount and stole it months ago

I can get the documents tomorrow.

**JESTER**

What! That’s amazing!

Wow it’s early

**CALEB**

Sorry, I only just managed to slip away

**JESTER**

Wow it’s  _earlyyyyy_

From where??? By chance???

Could you have

Possibly

Been

_Do you see the eyebrows caleb_

**CALEB**

I see them.

_Ja_ well it went unexpectedly...well

**JESTER**

Holy shit you really did it!

You surprised me a little!

That’s hard to do!

**CALEB**

What, to surprise you?

I don't know about that.

**JESTER**

You’re  _deflecting_ again

And not very well I mean.

It’s  _paper_ Caleb I know you read it

**CALEB**

There's nothing to deflect from, is there?

It was very professional

She is a talented woman

**JESTER**

Only you could make hooking up with  _the_ Lady Temeriel sounds  _boring_

Best you ever had?

**CALEB**

...I don't know how to answer that.

**JESTER**

It’s a yes or no question.

You are  _terrible_ at girl talk

**CALEB**

I don't have

There isn't a lot to compare it to, to be honest.

This is not news to you, I'm sure.

**JESTER**

I mean, we’ve never  _talked_ about it too much

_Buuuuuuut_ I assumed

**CALEB**

No, but you're very perceptive -- yes.

That has never been a very

big part of my life

**JESTER**

You can utilize it pretty well tho, huh?

**CALEB**

...oh, Jester.

Never change.

**JESTER**

....are you sad again? I’m getting that sad smile of yours in my head

**CALEB**

No, I am not sad

Maybe a little.

I miss you a bit.

Why are you awake this early?

**JESTER**

I miss you a  _bunch_. So does Frumps. He almost slept on my face.

I always get up this early when we’re home

I really like all the shells on the beach in the morning

**CALEB**

It is not even light out yet

**JESTER**

The moonlight is so  _bright_ right before the sun rises.

Go look

His fancy flabbiness should have windows facing the water

**CALEB**

It's beautiful.

**JESTER**

It  _is_

So cheer up a little okay?

**CALEB**

Do you think that one day you will move back here for good?

**JESTER**

Oh

I don’t know yet?

**CALEB**

After your big fancy sparkly wedding, of course

**JESTER**

_Of course_

But...depends on where the Traveler needs me

He’s been talking to me lately about some bigger plans

Maybe even an  _actual_ temple

**CALEB**

A temple just covered in dicks

It can feel a bit...strange, thinking ahead to the future, can't it?

After everything we've

I don't know. For me it can.

I am not used to, ah

to planning for things like that

**JESTER**

I don’t really  _like_ doing it either.

It’s...weird, you know?

I don’t know about all of the rest but

It’s hard to imagine what happens next

**CALEB**

You have always been a dreamer though

It must come a little easier to you than for the rest of us

**JESTER**

I  _used_ to be a dreamer

Now I’ve done a lot of things

And it makes it a little hard to dream again, if that makes sense?

**CALEB**

It does make sense.

More than you might think.

Don't ever stop, Jester.

We need you to dream for us.

**JESTER**

I won’t stop, I don’t think

It was just a lot easier  _before_

**CALEB**

A lot of things are -- or were, easier before, I suppose.

It was easier for me when I was consumed with my past.

Looking ahead now is

it is frightening.

**JESTER**

We’re a little too real for you, huh?

Our funny, misfit family

**CALEB**

I always thought I was going to have to say goodbye to you. At some point.

There'd be some day

Some truly dark day

And I would have to leave you all.

I didn't make any plans for if that never happened.

**JESTER**

It’s really cute that you think I would’ve let you leave

**CALEB**

Well, I am an idiot, so.

I ah

Just for the record

I did not actually sleep with her

**JESTER**

....really?

**CALEB**

Not

in that way

We talked, mostly.

She is very kind.

**JESTER**

And you didn’t sleep together?  _Like that_

**CALEB**

There was no sex.

If you want me to spell it out for you.

**JESTER**

Oh. How come?

Not that I’m like judging you either way!!!

I just

_she's her_

**CALEB**

She's very lovely, it's true

No, we just

We talked.

She gave me some advice.

Courtesans are good at that, apparently.

**JESTER**

My mom is basically a therapist, yeah

What did you need advice for?

**CALEB**

Calculated risks.

I told her a little bit about my past

I told her about my future

**JESTER**

Did she help you?

**CALEB**

I think so

I told her that I am in love with someone who I don't think loves me back

She told me that -- she told me a lot of things.

Bravery is not really my strong suit but she...suggested working on that.

So I have some homework, you know.

**JESTER**

Who are you in love with?! Did she help?! Can you tell me?!

Caleb it’s so easy to love you, why are you worried someone wouldn’t?

**CALEB**

I don't think it's that easy.

Would it

Does that sort of thing come easily to you, do you think?

It does not come easily to me.

**JESTER**

Love? Or bravery?

**CALEB**

One and the same, I suppose.

**JESTER**

I’m not very brave, I don’t think. But I  _can_ be, if I have to be.

**CALEB**

You are the bravest person I have ever met.

**JESTER**

You’re pretty brave too, even if it’s not the way you want to be brave

**CALEB**

You do know, right?

**JESTER**

I mean. We’ve never talked about it

But I’ve assumed

**CALEB**

Is it a completely fucked lost cause, or could you feel the same way, one day, do you think?

Or even something close to the same way?

**JESTER**

Do you

Do you think I  _don't_

I’m... _Caleb_ , you’re smarter than that

**CALEB**

...You are smarter than that, surely

To love me

Jester

Do you love me?

**JESTER**

I thought you knew??

I love you, I’ve been in love with you

**CALEB**

I absolutely did not know

**JESTER**

I thought, you know, you were dealing with things. I don’t want to overload you

**CALEB**

There is

A lot would have

The past few weeks would have been very different if I had known trust me on this

You're serious,  _ja,_ this is not some

The Traveler didn't put you up to this?

**JESTER**

My jokes aren’t  _cruel_ Caleb

I would never do that

**CALEB**

You love me?

**JESTER**

I do. I love you. Have for a while

**CALEB**

shit

**JESTER**

Glad you noticed though!!

**CALEB**

You have no idea

Fuck's sake why am I stuck in this  _gotverdammt_ palace

In this  _fucking outfit_

**JESTER**

You got the key though, right? You can come back soon? You don’t have to stay the whole wedding now?

**CALEB**

Tomorrow.

**JESTER**

How about....

**CALEB**

I will be back tomorrow and I will tell you how much you have changed my life

And how much I am yours

**JESTER**

How about we don’t tell anyone you’re coming back tomorrow, and we go hide off somewhere for a couple days

And I can tell you all about how much I love you and how I feel like you’re finally ready to love me back

**CALEB**

It was never about whether I was ready to love you back, Jester

I have loved you for

I can't even say how long

But now I think I am ready for more than that.

**JESTER**

Now you can plan a tomorrow

Now you’ll  _promise_ to be in my tomorrow?

**CALEB**

With all my heart.

Where should we go

We should go someplace we can dance

**JESTER**

Oh, we’re going to crash a wedding

_did you see the eyebrows?! Caleb??_

**CALEB**

Sorry I am a bit distracted at the moment

My entire life just got turned upside-down

I am not going to another  _fucking wedding_ Jester

I have had  _enough_

**JESTER**

But you already have the robes

**CALEB**

Oh  _liebling_ we are burning these as soon as I get out of here.

You'd better have taken good care of my coat

**JESTER**

I’ve been wearing it mostly

It smells like charcoal and like you when you finally took out all the wizard shit

**CALEB**

You've been wearing my coat?

**JESTER**

I didn’t want to  _lose_ it, you would’ve been furious.

Can’t lose what you’re wearing

**CALEB**

This is true.

I bet you look adorable in it.

**JESTER**

It’s bigger than I thought it would be, so it does look a little funny.

It’s more comfortable than I thought it would be too

**CALEB**

It makes for a good blanket.

I miss you.

I have missed you all week.

**JESTER**

I miss you too. It dumb that you’re not here helping me count shells.

**CALEB**

I've been going crazy.

Lady Temeriel looks too much like you

**JESTER**

_you’ve been going crazy?!_

Lady Temeriel wanted  _you_

And I just had to be cool with that?!

Oh man, you don’t even  _know_ crazy, Caleb

**CALEB**

I almost slept with her  _because_ she looks like you

It is very depressing.

**JESTER**

You  _could_ just sleep with me

**CALEB**

Oh I plan to, obviously, but you know

Twelve hours ago that was not really on the table

I'm not really

I'm going to have to apologize in advance, blueberry, it has been...sixteen years? Seventeen?

**JESTER**

I mean, I’ve  _never_....so?

I think you still have a one up on me

That means you’re  _in charge_ , Caleb

**CALEB**

Really, never?

I mean I knew that you'd

Is it strange that I wish I'd never, either?

In a way?

**JESTER**

I mean, I haven’t, no? I haven’t been on my own for very long

And I mean....

_Has_ Caleb? Ever?

You know....since you’ve been  _you?_

**CALEB**

No

I have spent all of this time either running for my life or pining for my best friend, so

Still, I wish

I wish I could erase every touch of hers on my body, however long ago it happened

So it could be only you

**JESTER**

It  _is_ only me

**CALEB**

And for other reasons, too, I suppose, but mainly that.

**JESTER**

You know when I touch you it’s not because of any reason other than I  _want to_

**CALEB**

It will only ever be you, from now on, that I can promise.

No one else.

I don't want anyone else. Not ever.

**JESTER**

I know. I don’t either, and I don’t want you to think about anything besides the fact

That you’ll be the  _only one_

Ever

For me

**CALEB**

fuck, Jester.

I wonder if I can break into that safe this morning.

**JESTER**

_do your mission right_

If you die, I’m totally screwed out of my future and I’ll be mad at you

**CALEB**

I'd be fairly furious with myself, if it came to that.

Terrible timing.

**JESTER**

You ever been revived to a 45 minute lecture?

Cuz you would absolutely be hearing from me

**CALEB**

I could probably make you shut up.

**JESTER**

.....

I almost believe you

But I’m  _pretty_ bossy Caleb

**CALEB**

How bossy do you think you could be with my face between your legs,  _liebling?_

**JESTER**

....did that lady give you tips?? On how to flirt?? Or are you actually trying now?

**CALEB**

You wound me.

I've been holding back, obviously.

She did give me some tips. But not on that.

**JESTER**

Oh Caleb, if you’re ready to bring the full flirting game to the table, I’m  _so_ ready

_Ooooh_ did she  _only_  give you love advice

**CALEB**

I mean.

She did mention a few suggestions for other things.

A few tiefling-specific things, actually -- it was very educational.

**JESTER**

....oh shit

**CALEB**

I was a bit

I wasn't paying too much attention but I picked up a few ideas.

**JESTER**

....She told you about the tail, didn’t she

**CALEB**

The tail was mentioned.

Various spots on the tail were mentioned.

**JESTER**

Okay so, okay

Okay. Yeah no, this is

_Cool_

**CALEB**

This was after I had cried into her lap for ten minutes about how beautiful you are and everything so I was not exactly taking notes per se but I have a good memory, so.

We have some things we can try out.

**JESTER**

The visual of you crying in her lap is  _so good_

**CALEB**

Why is it good??

It was terrible!

**JESTER**

_It's cute_ Caleb

**CALEB**

I was hiccuping!

**JESTER**

Were you a sad drunk at a wedding?!

**CALEB**

I wasn't even drunk, that is the saddest part.

**JESTER**

Someone always cries at weddings, it’s okay

**CALEB**

Have you been to a lot of weddings?

**JESTER**

I’ve been to a few in the Chateau before, but not like Lord Flabby Face’s.

**CALEB**

I'm still so new here, the customs are unfamiliar to me

Tell me how it all works.

**JESTER**

The first day. You don’t get to see each other until the very end of the night. Right before midnight

**CALEB**

No, no, not the wedding, back up

Everything

Courting, betrothal, that sort of thing.

Start from the beginning.

**JESTER**

_Oooooooh_ Okay well.

**CALEB**

I need to take notes.

**JESTER**

The nobles have their own stuff too, you know? I don’t think I’m a noble

But! What  _everyone_ does, is when you start sort of realizing it might be a forever sort of thing

**CALEB**

You are nobility in every way that counts, Jester.

**JESTER**

Not this way though

Cuz there’s usually two houses right? And each one has color, or it’s just their favorite color, and you knot them together when you get engaged.

**CALEB**

Interesting

**JESTER**

There’s this  _really_ strong knot they use in the ships so you take the two colors and you tie them together

Nobles always string jewels and stuff in it but that’s kind of not the point?

Like when you walk back. Take a look at some of the houses

A lot them have their knots on their doors or their gates. You keep them forever

**CALEB**

I'll keep this in mind.

**JESTER**

I can teach you the knot if you’re ever curious for whatever reason ever

**CALEB**

Blue and orange are not too bad of a combination, are they?

Just in general.

**JESTER**

They’re complimentary colors, actually! Since you know

You asked an artist

**CALEB**

It's a good sign.

**JESTER**

It is! And when people do the actual wedding,  _since you aren’t bothering to stay_ , usually they exchange something. Like rings

But sometimes it’s earrings

And sometimes it’s horn jewelry and bracelets and my mama’s friend and her wife did tattoos once

**CALEB**

My parents wore rings.

Not very expensive ones, but

I remember them. They were nice.

**JESTER**

So you would do rings?

You know, hypothetically

**CALEB**

I think so.

I would like that.

**JESTER**

I would too, I think.

I’d stop wearing all the extra ones once I get that one

**CALEB**

Never stop wearing all the extra ones!

It will just be the nicest and most expensive, so that it stands out.

What is Jester without her seventy rings?

**JESTER**

I don’t care if it’s  _fancy_ , I want it to be the strongest one.

Gems and stuff break over years but.

Not the really strong ones

**CALEB**

It will be enchanted,  _liebling,_ it will never break.

**JESTER**

_oh well_

I’ll keep wearing my seventy rings and two for my toes

**CALEB**

I cannot wait.

Wonderful, beautiful girl.

**JESTER**

I changed my mind

Speed through your mission

I can revive you

I’m kidding.

**CALEB**

I'm not  _going to die_

**JESTER**

Mostly.

**CALEB**

I'm very sneaky.

I will be in and out like that.

Did you see the eyebrows there.

**JESTER**

_I did_!! I was making them too!!

**CALEB**

You see this is why we are perfect for each other.

I don't know why I ever doubted it.

All right,  _meine schatz,_ I am going to go try to break into the secret vault of a government official now

Wish me luck

**JESTER**

Please don’t die I love you diamonds are expensive!

**CALEB**

_Ich liebe dich_ silly

**JESTER**

I love dick too, Caleb

_did you see the eyebrows_

**CALEB**

oh, Jester.

see you soon.

**JESTER**

Bye! See you soon! Enjoy your minor treason!

_fin_


End file.
